Right Around the Corner

So I just talked to my newlywed sister in DC, my newly engaged sister in St. Louis, my parents in Connecticut and left a voicemail for my brother in Delaware. How is it, I wonder, that I managed to be the sole sister left in New York City? In the Northeast for that matter. Life happened I guess. One day we were wearing smocked dresses with bows in our hair, worrying about who was coming over for a play date on Friday and the next we are discussing who is going to be where for Christmas before the summers end. Did I mention, my brother is turning 18 in two weeks? 18!!!! I mean that is enough in itself to make me run to check in the mirror for gray hairs.

What does keep me from getting lonely is knowing that they are just a phone call away. And as for my soon to be adult brother, well his age now finally meets his old soul :)

As always and ever,

Bear

Be...

Embody your truth and speak it fearlessly.

Park Avenue Pandemonium

The UN General Assembly. Check. Obama. Check. Sirens on the fives with motorcades dodging restless pedestrians. Check. Check. Check.

I was getting a little perturbed on my fourth day trying to go through my morning routine and having it bombarded with secret service, overwhelming traffic and street closings more than openings. I tried to take the bus and had to get off. The Subway was too crowded. Walking was the only option but even that was challenging as every block within a four block radius of my office was limited to sporadic foot traffic only when a motorcade was not en route. I tried to bat my eyes at the secret service and say that I could act like part of the entourage if they would just kindly let me through. No luck. By the way, who coined the phrase secret service? They are anything but secretive! When I finally made it to my building and up the elevator to my office, I looked across and there were three snipers staring me straight in the eye from the Waldorf's rooftop. Well it felt like they were staring at me. The entire four days of mayhem have been a little unnerving, especially being literally in the line of fire.

But what I try to continually remind myself is that the people protecting our leaders and our leaders that are being protected deal with this every minute of every day. Furthermore, the inconvenience is inconsequential to the larger implications of why they are all here in the first place. The UN General Assembly is an important piece to the preservation of our future. For those who missed President Obama's speech, I urge you to read the very words that he so eloquently delivered yesterday morning. They are words all of us should keep in our memory as we do our part in our own communities to work together to understand and respect one an others differences. After reading the words myself, I welcome the motorcades and barricades, the sirens and the secret service. All of that means that our leaders are working together to keep us safe and our future in the horizon.

Read President Obama's speech to the UN General Assembly at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/23/obama-un-speech-text_n_296017.html.

Prologue

This has been a project in progress for years and now for the first time I share it with you. Just a snapshot of what has been swimming in my head and heart. This is the prologue to my book that someday, somewhere, I hope will be published. Until then, I remain forever grateful.

REBIRTH

My mind tried to go to a different place. A place that was far from the cold hospital room on 71st street. My mother sat on one side of the gurney. My father stood holding my hand on the other. The three of us sat looking at one another as the nurse left the room. She had told a joke and we were still trying to politely laugh. We were saying goodbye.

The operating room felt like a meat locker. Nurses smiled as they lifted their masks to greet me. The hum of the machines silently interrupted the mumbling voices. Warm blankets were wrapped around my naked body. My right arm stuck out while the anesthesiologist tapped on the inside of my elbow with his fingertips. I had goose bumps. My mind tried to calm my eyes. But they saw. Metal. Clamps. Drills. The nurses lifted me by the bed sheets, cradling me in the hammock of white, to the operating table. My head was secured to the table by two Velcro straps. I was asked to test the brace. It was tight enough. My breath echoed in the air as I counted to four and repeated, a trick my mom had shared with me countless times before when I was nervous. A needle was gently forced into my vein once. Again and again. Three times a charm. My veins small and stubborn left the crook of my elbow permanently bruised for the past two years. The anesthesiologist apologized. I sleepily smiled, trying to hold the tears captive from escaping down my cheek. A white cloudy substance was shown to me in a syringe. I nodded and closed my eyes. I took four breaths in and repeated four breathes out. I searched for the familiar scene: a place that was only for my eyes, a place that I escaped to the past two years. Only today, my mind wandered back to my parents. Back to my father’s glossy eyes, remembering his face as he leaned down to kiss my forehead. How we held hands as we journeyed down the long corridor. I remembered reaching the double swinging doors that had STERILE AREA in crimson writing across them. With one last squeeze of my hand, I had to let go. They held each other as I was wheeled away. I kept my hand in the air all the way until we reached the next corner. The next time they saw me, I was sleeping soundly in a coma.

Bear Necessities

A few of my favorite things that help take the grizzly out of a long day.

My new obsession (thanks to my "in the know" cousin) makes my apartment smell like I am out in the country with the window open, the breeze wafting scents from the garden inside. It is called a pomegranate and the ancient Florentine apothecary Santa Maria Novella is the genius behind the terra cotta wonder. The pomegranate not only lasts for years, infusing your home with a delicate aroma, but it also sits beautifully discreet on a bookshelf or front hall table.

The line recently came to the U.S. and can be found exclusively at the uber trendy Lafco in downtown Manhattan. Thankfully for the out-of-towners or those who are to lazy to venture down past Union Square (guilty) can also order the entire collection of products online at www.lafcony.com.

The Mercury is Rising

Did you get the memo? Have you heard? Mercury is in retrograde! Don't try to email, stop the presses, forget appointments, mail and any surfing the web. Basically do anything but communicate.

I thought it a bunch a hooey until my printer stopped printing, my scanner stopped scanning, and my brain stopped being able to translate into articulate thoughts what I was thinking (well maybe that happens when Mercury is hot hot hot too!)

Since 4:46 Monday, September 7th the Cosmo has slowed down and will move backwards through the zodiac for three weeks. Mercury normally turns retrograde three times a year but this year he turns four times. As a rule, retrograde planets bring a period of unresolved issues from the past that rear their heads and a series of events over which we seem to have little or no conscious control. Oh sheesh! It will be a miracle if I get anything done.

So what are we supposed to do for the next two weeks time? This Bear thinks we should all go on holiday.

Discoveries

Who knew that chivalry was alive in the kingdom of New York? Today I noticed that every man I walked through a door with held it open for me and every elevator we left he waited until I got out first.

Who knew that looking up at the bluebird sky as you walk along the busy sidewalk is like taking a two second vacation from the breathless crowds?

Who knew that reading on the bus can be the most favorite time of day, lost in the words of another time and place?

Who knew that a call from someone who you haven't talked to in months is the perfect ending to the day?

This Bear knows now.

Book Club

I have finished The Help! It is a poignant and touching story about the human resolve. You will fall in love with the characters and might even want to cancel your next dinner just to finish. I cried, laughed and cried again. A must read for this Bear.

Remembering

Today we remember. We honor all of those that woke up 8 years ago, got dressed, began their day and never returned home. We pray for those who they left behind with only memories. We are renewed with a sense of purpose to support each other as sisters and brothers, parents and children, friends and neighbors.

To the land of the free and the home of the brave. Let us never forget...

Kindle Karma

Today felt like the first day of school walking into work after the long weekend. People I passed looked longingly at the thought of summer's end but slightly excited for the chill in the air. Some even went so far as to donning their favorite suede boots and cozy sweaters. Me, well I was just excited for my first "official" day at my job. Having worked there all summer, my routine was just as it had been...gym, starbucks, the usual sleepy ride on the bus, and of course the beautiful walk down Park Avenue to my office (most people I herd along with daily look much more executive than I could ever pretend to be which makes me giggle every morning). Something though was just a bit different this morning as I opened my office door. There, on my desk sat a package with my name on it. It was my very own Kindle.

The thought has crossed my mind every day since I began my job in May how lucky I am to have the boss I do. She has become my mentor and friend. On several occasions I have felt unworthy of the seemingly perfect situation I have been granted. I genuinely adore walking into work every day because of her. And so it is no surprise that she, being the thoughtful women she is, presented ME with a gift. As I have joked often since May, I feel like I should be giving HER gifts for all she has done for me. 

So as I sit here tonight, I am the owner of a brand new Kindle, bright pink case and all. I have ordered my very first book, "The Help" (reviews to come) and have already been admired by many of my fellow bus mates. A devotee of hardbacks for years, I swore that I wouldn't like the impersonal screen that seemed to rob the prose of their meaning but yet again I spoke to soon. I can't imagine how I have lasted this long without one! 

Another first for this beaming Bear.

Happy Labor Day

This was the first Labor Day weekend in a long time that I can remember staying home. No long car rides, no traffic meltdowns, no ferry reservations. Just a short train ride out to Connecticut for a relaxing weekend with the parents and a couple of good friends. Two nights at the Open were part of the highlights...one night from the perch of Booboo's luxurious box and one night with Mom and Dad, courtside (no seriously front row and wiping the sweat from Andy Murrays brow!) Thank you M + D for being my "plus ones" this weekend. You engulf me with positive energy and support that sustains my soul. 

All in all, I couldn't have designed a more perfect ending to summer with some of my favorite people. I miss Booboo already, my Parisian fabulousness leaves tomorrow. Come back soon! 

The only thing missing was my two adorable sisters and "hunk of a stud muffin" brother. It just was not the same without you near. Happy Labor Day dear ones. I am missing you from my abode in brisk New York and sending so much love to you. 

Sweet dreams and think good thoughts...

A first time for everything

I have had many firsts in my life (like everyone I guess). The usual...first kiss, first heartbreak, first speeding ticket (yes, I have gotten just one!), first funeral, first sister's wedding, and the list goes on. Every day is bound to have a first something thrown in there somewhere, which keeps life interesting and never boring. 

I have a new first in my life today and that is this blog. I have always wanted to write a book and so here is my chance to share with whoever is willing to listen, free of charge, my thoughts and dreams, worries and frustrations, ramblings and reviews. 

I am known as Bear to my family and now to you. To all the firsts in life...let the journey continue.