Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. - Anonymous
I have been a bit distracted - as you can tell by the date of my last post. When I say distracted, really that's just my excuse for being lazy. Lazy when it comes to putting my thoughts on paper. I have been thinking of other things, leaving me daunted by the idea of trying to be creative in my words instead of energized by the ritual of sharing with you. A job offer was one such "thing", followed by a waterfall of sorts in my kitchen from a burst pipe above, an Easter celebration, job networking, and travel. You're thinking, wow - that sounds pretty nice, minus the water invasion. And you are certainly right. Most of these so called distractions are luxury problems, a time in my life to really reflect on life balance and who I am, who I want to be and how I want to be. I have time to carefully ponder such age old questions as, to have or to hold? Take said job offer - I spent 24 hours (and a few days) struggling with my decision. My thought process went something like this: To have - a job in a prestigious company with great benefits and a healthy salary. OR To hold - to wait for an opportunity that has a thread of content that makes me excited to walk into work everyday, where my mind is challenged. To have a paycheck or to hold for a career? It's been months (we can count if you like) since I left my job. Fear sets in about how much longer I should wait until taking the next offer. Self doubt begins to creep into the crevasses of self reflection. Am I looking in the right places? Do I need to work harder? Should I waitress? I am working on the side as a consultant which allows me to survive with my savings as supplement but there is only so much longer until I will be contemplating joining the circus. So until then, I hold onto faith in myself, feeling blessed to have people in my life that I love and who love me. So this Monday morning, on the last day of April, here is to holding on to the good things and having a sense of humor while water pools at your feet in the middle of the night. Talk to you tomorrow - hold me to it.
