What is black and white and gray all over?

Politics. Yes, that's right. I am talking about Republicans vs. Democrats, the Left vs. the Right, Conservative vs. Liberal. After watching our President speak last night about job creation, tax cuts for small business owners, and holding Republicans more accountable for stronger leadership, I seem to be even more confused about the union of our state. I feel like I am being asked to fill out a survey where none of the answers fit the description I would chose exactly. I would like to take a part of one question and a part of another question and combine them to make my answer. As a registered Republican, I am less worried with having the right answer - fitting into a, b, or c - and more interested in what will be best for our country. I realize that "best" is subjective. I realize that as a Republican, I am meant to want less Government oversight and regulation. But to be honest, I am sick of being limited to what a Republican is "supposed" to believe in. I am tired of watching our leaders reprimand each other for the side of the aisle they sit on. I probably sound as though I want everyone to hold hands and sing "Kumbaya" but I am not naive. Disagreement and challenge are necessary and vital to keep power in check and our democracy thriving. I propose however, we quit arguing over what it means to be Republican or Democrat and start acting on good morals and values. Perhaps d is the right answer, all of the above. Lets make gray the new black.

It's a bird. It's a plane. It's on fire?

Smoke. Electrical friction. The smell of plastic burning. These are not what you want to experience at 32,000 feet in the air in a metal bird. But I did. Thankfully I survived to tell you the story.

I was on my way back from one of my most favorite places on Earth after a perfection of a vacation. The plan was to take off from Nice, France and fly directly to JFK. An hour into the flight, I had changed into my sweatshirt, ordered  "It's Complicated" and was enjoying the warm selection of almonds and cashews when flight attendants began acting the way you hope they never do - running through the aisles talking to each other in hush tones while ignoring any semblance of composure that they were trained to keep. As a nervous flyer in general (I have gotten much better compared to my younger self who gasped at any bump of turbulence), I immediately knew that the smoke filling the cabin was not part of the nine hour flight. The captain came on the PA system and told everyone to stay calm, ordered the flight attendants to take their seats, and explained to us in a Xanax-calm voice that we were making an emergency landing in Paris due to some electrical problem. He assured us that he could still fly the plane even after he shut down all of the electronics. Great, I thought. I was seated in 1G and so luckily was sheltered from the mass hysteria that was wafting behind me or I too would have collapsed. My seatmate in 1F had reclined all of the way before the electrical shutdown and so he appeared to be sleeping through the whole fiasco, although in reality he was praying. I began to say my prayers, trying to breath through the firing of engines that roared as we came into a full dive for the runway. My stomach was on the floor. I have never felt so much force in a landing in my life - there was no possible way we could land at the speed we were going. No way. We were going to crash. God bless my family. I was about to write a text message telling them I loved them when I realized my phone was in the overhead compartment. Shoot. I went back to praying. God bless Mommy and Daddy...and then we were on the ground. I opened my eyes, held onto the wall in front of me as I was propelled forward, the seat belt cinching my waist but not much else. I noticed fire engines were chasing us on either side down the runway. I wasn't sure we were going to be able to stop. But we did. My body relaxed back into the seat and my lip started to quiver.

After the emergency response team checked the body of the plane for traces of fire (we were clear) we taxied to a staging area where we waited until engineers came aboard and came to the conclusion that they needed to evacuate the plane in order to diagnose the problem. You don't need to be an engineer to figure that one out! I happily got off to a waiting bus that read on the ticker in the front "San Francisco" - not sure what that was about but considering the day so far, I felt like I was in the twilight zone. We proceeded to security. We had to go back through in order to get to gate 36 where we were told to await further instructions. But the security team noticed the tickets reading: Nice to JFK and told us we were in the wrong airport. Uh - hello? It's called communication. There were 250 people with the same ticket, who had just gotten off a smoking plane. After much bantering, a few screaming exchanges, and 30 minutes of waiting, management came over and let us through. Shoes off, jacket off, jewelry off - I should have worn my footed pajamas.

Without an international cell phone, I used the phone card my brother had handed me hours earlier in case of emergency. "Sal, take it. Just in case you get stuck." How did he know? Tears filled my eyes as my Mom's voice came through the heavily bacteria-lathen phone. I wish I had packed disinfectant wipes. I assured her that I was fine and that we were on standby until further notice. Hours later, after I had visited every shop in the Charles de Gaul airport (they have fantastic shopping by the way) and walked for what seemed like miles, I returned to gate 36 where they were handing out free sandwiches. This can not be a good sign, I thought. So back to my walk I went. Another hour went by and I noticed a fellow passenger walk by who kindly alerted me of the good news. They were boarding in 20 minutes! Well I was delighted and concerned. Did I dare get back on that plane that was filled with smoke hours earlier?

I did. I returned to my seat where my friend the flight attendant had freshened my water and greeted me with a sympathetic smile. "Everything is safe and fixed. You need not worry." I smiled back and nodded. We took off without my seat mate who had decided to abandon ship and fly Air France. I settled back and turned on "It's Complicated". We were flying smooth. I napped and had lunch. All was well.

Until we hit Maine and then the heavens which we were in turned angry. The flight attendants were instructed by a worn-off-Xanax first officer to stop service at once and take any open seat. We were in the middle of a storm. My once turbulent-fearing self returned as I gripped my seat, the side of the plane, and my blanket. We tossed around in the sky with sounds of glasses breaking in the galley. Perfect, I thought.

When we landed in New York applause erupted throughout the cabin. Even the flight attendants were cheering. I nearly kissed the pilot as I got off. But not so fast. My smooch would have to wait. We sat on the tarmac for an hour and a half, sans AC. No gate. NO @%$#%! GATE?! I envisioned myself having a mental breakdown right then and there. Headline, "Girl goes crazy after near death experience in the heat of an airplane!" Nope. I would breath and I would wait.

As I opened the door that night to my sweltering apartment, I melted to the floor in happiness. And then I turned the AC on full blast.

Sunday Showers

A shower of presents, a shower of laughter and a shower of friends who watch with delight as they relish in the happiness that shines throughout the room. Memories of childhood flood back while your sister opens her presents with "Hear Comes The Bride" playing softly in the background. Wonderment fills the heart as you have been thinking about this moment since you were a little girl and can't quite believe that you are old enough to have a brother-in-law. Wisdom comes with challenge and strife, as long as it is balanced with giggles. Cry while laughing and laugh while crying, especially surrounded by those you love. Tomorrow is around the corner, Sunday being the yawn before the rush of the week. May we remember the cherished times of the weekend and showers of special moments.

Sweet dreams from this Bear.

TTYL

BRB. TGTBT. LOL. BFF. If you don't understand a word or letter I just wrote, you're not missing anything. We, myself included, have gotten lazy with the whole abbreviation thing. I mean, am I really that busy to actually write a proper letter in an email form? No. Does typing four more letters to finish a word hurt my fingers? I don't think so. Faster and more efficient, email has changed how we communicate and speak. For the most part, I am a big fan. However, I must admit when I open my mailbox (my actual snail mailbox in my apartment building) and see a letter with handwriting on the front, my day gets better. The writing and sentiment comes through the prose with much more meaning. While email is here to stay, I will make an effort to stop butchering the English language and send more hand written notes. Sound perf?

TGIF - I said I would make an effort, not change entirely...happy weekend!

Resolution or Evolution?

Needleless Christmas trees line up on the sidewalk graveyard, reminding pedestrians that holiday indulgences are over. The gyms are packed. Commercials are advertising diet friendly meals. Magazine covers are promising 10 days to a flatter stomach. Facebook is twittering with status updates proclaiming that your friends are cleaning out their junk drawers and forgoing that extra glass of wine on Tuesday nights for yoga. Come March all will be back to normal making me rethink the entire meaning of new year’s resolutions. January seems to be awkwardly filled with empty promises to becoming a "new" you. How about though all of the good things of the old you? Instead of setting up huge promises that will become Post-Its of the past, why not look to January as a good time for evolution? I think awareness and most importantly, self awareness is the key to living your best life, evolving into your best self with each year. Instead of trying to do that all at once in January, getting overwhelmed, bored, and craving a Twinkie, why not do that throughout the year in a gradual pace? If anything, maybe we will all transition better into the long month of January without the crankiness. Here's the good news, evolving or not - Valentine's Day is right around the corner (hello...chocolate?)

The Daily Caller

Good family friend Tucker Carlson has just launched his new website called The Daily Caller and I have to say that I am most impressed! Primarily a news site with original editorial and even an advice column, the bright graphics will keep your eyes from getting bored while your mind is stimulated with a plethora of content. This bear highly recommends checking it out right now.

A decade of difference

Six days have already gone by in January. Wow. 2010. I remember when the Millenium came and I could not even fathom writing 2010 on my letter head. So here we are now and I don't feel much different. Or do I?

I am still 5'2'' (although I grew 1/2 an inch post surgery), my hair is still chesnut in color and shoulder length, I still love watching a good movie by the fire, and I still miss the smell of home. The baristas in Starbucks still know me (now in New York too!) Not much has changed on the frightened list: elevators make me nervous, turbulence on the plane makes my stomach jump, and blind dates make me anxious in a good way.

Additons. I live alone in an apartment in New York. I have graduated from College (even though it took me seven years). Who knew I would be working on Park Avenue? I am shall we say, requiring a bigger bra, love wearing heels, and wear my hair down for a change. Now I appreciate yoga (took ten years to feel this way) and use the time to breathe without competing with my fellow yogi. My back is now split in half by a scar and five of those ten years I have lived with pain. Doctors have become part of my personal Christmas card list and I know now that I can withstand pain that most would faint from. I am stronger both in will and in belief.

2010. Another year as myself and another year of growth. Maybe I'll finally have a growth spirt - not likely but who knows, I have been known for stumping docs. This year I vow to honor each day as a new day, live in the moment without concern for control, giggle a lot, and give more service to those less fortunate than me. I strive to find and pursue those things that make my heart sing.

For you, I wish for blessings of good health, joy and love for all aspects of your universe.

- Bear